Thursday, May 14, 2026

The Fly II: Like Father. Like, I Never Met Em'!

Following David Cronenberg’s The Fly is the cinematic equivalent of volunteering to perform a tight five minutes of stand-up comedy at your own mother's autopsy. It is not a creative challenge; it is a psychiatric symptom. You are stepping into the shadow of a man who turned the human body into a visceral anxiety attack and walked away with an Academy Award for the trauma. So, when 20th Century Fox greenlit a sequel, the critical establishment sharpened their knives.

But here is the infuriating, undeniable truth that nobody in the polite, oxygen-deprived circles of film criticism wants to admit: The Fly II is a staggering, raw-nerve triumph. It is a masterpiece of marginalized cinema that strips away Cronenberg’s icy, Canadian clinical detachment and replaces it with the sweaty, unadulterated rage of a blue-collar craftsman.

Let us first address the absolute lunacy of the director’s specific vision. The studio, fueled by what I can only assume was an Everest-sized pile of Peruvian marching powder, handed the directorial reins to Chris Walas. Walas was the special effects wizard who literally built the original Brundlefly. Giving him the director’s chair is akin to letting the guy who changes your spark plugs perform your open-heart surgery. It is a decision that screams "cynical cash-in."

Yet, Walas treats this material with a profound, aggressive reverence. He understood he was never going to out-Cronenberg Cronenberg, so he didn't try. Instead, he made a film fundamentally about the horrific cost of inherited trauma. Where the first film was a meditation on terminal disease, The Fly II asks a far more brutal question: What do you do when you are born into a nightmare you didn’t choose, and the clock is ticking?

This brings us to the plot holes, which must be violently interrogated, as they are a targeted insult to basic arithmetic. We are introduced to Martin Brundle, the rapidly aging, genetically compromised son of Seth Brundle, raised entirely within the sterile glass confines of Bartok Industries. Let us pause to examine the business model here. What, exactly, is the corporate ROI on raising a mutant bug-boy? You have a board of directors—men in bespoke Armani suits—treating a biological apocalypse like a slight dip in the NASDAQ. Are there no OSHA regulations in 1989? Who is underwriting the liability insurance for a facility housing a teenager whose DNA is slowly turning him into a six-foot, acid-vomiting diptera? The staggering stupidity of Bartok Industries acting as a surrogate father figure while eagerly awaiting a patentable metamorphosis is corporate negligence so profound it makes Enron look like a charity bake sale.

But it is precisely this corporate exploitation that elevates the film’s villainy. Lee Richardson plays Anton Bartok not as a cackling mad scientist, but as a mid-level venture capitalist waiting for a stock split. He monitors Martin’s mutations with the detached interest of an actuary. This is The Fly II’s secret weapon: it externalizes the horror. The monster isn’t just swimming around in Martin’s DNA; it’s sitting in the boardroom, sipping a scotch, and calculating quarter-to-quarter earnings.

Then we have Eric Stoltz as Martin. This is a man whose early cinematic legacy is entirely predicated on being fired from Back to the Future for taking a time-traveling DeLorean too seriously. Here, however, that agonizing sincerity is deployed like a weapon. Stoltz delivers a masterclass in ocular suffering. Buried under thirty pounds of industrial latex, KY Jelly, and polyurethane, his eyes never stop reading as desperately, tragically human. He plays a boy whose body is a ticking bomb someone else wound, projecting a gentle stillness that somehow anchors the absolute lunacy erupting around him.

And erupt it does. Let us be painfully precise about what Walas and his practical effects team accomplished, because the critical dismissal of this film is a crime against cinema. The transformation sequence here is longer, more agonizing, and vastly more intimate than the original. Cronenberg’s Brundlefly emerged in theatrical, almost mythological stages. Martin’s transformation feels like watching a terminal diagnosis progress in real-time.

Skin blisters before it splits. Veiny underlayers throb before the exoskeleton breaches the surface. The chitinous shell accumulates like scar tissue on a battlefield. It is a commitment to tactile, physical horror that modern, sterile CGI could never replicate in a thousand render farms.

And then there is the dog. If you want to identify the exact moment The Fly II proves it has a soul, it is the golden retriever sequence. To take a mutated, malformed canine in a 1989 B-movie sequel and render its fate so intimately heartbreaking that it makes you want to call your mother is a staggering feat. It is not gratuitous; it is an emotional gut-punch that justifies every ounce of latex on screen.

Which brings us to the glorious, unhinged meat grinder of the third-act breakdown.

Once Martin fully metamorphoses into a gargantuan, insectoid middle finger to corporate overreach, the film Abandons any pretense of subtlety and embraces sheer, cathartic butchery. The lab facility becomes a slaughterhouse. Security guards are dissolved in digestive enzymes, their faces melting off like cheap wax candles in a microwave. But the true genius lies in the finale’s gene-transfer climax.

Martin doesn't just kill Anton Bartok. Death would be a mercy. Instead, Martin drags Bartok into the telepods and executes a genetic swap, purging the insect DNA from his own body and forcing it into the executive.

The resulting horror is poetic karma of the highest order. Bartok is reduced to a melted, barely conscious mass of tumorous flesh and chitin, dumped into the very observation pit where he once imprisoned Martin. Martin survives, but the victory is as clean as an abattoir floor. He gets his revenge, but he sits in a room next to the woman he loves, forever carrying the psychological shrapnel of what he was forced to become.

It is a rare horror ending that is genuinely earned, not just handed out as audience appeasement. It refuses to let the victory feel clean. It is a Greek tragedy written in stomach acid and corporate memos.

The Fly II has spent three and a half decades being wrongheadedly dismissed by intellectual cowards who measured it against an impossible standard and called the gap a failure. It is not a failure. I do not use my Pulitzer Prize to swat flies, but I would absolutely use it to bludgeon any critic who refuses to see the brilliance here. Chris Walas built the monster that won the Oscar, and then he came back and gave it a soul.

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Mac and Me: Why Hollywood Will Repeat Its Most Cynical Mistake

As one of the most infamous flops in film history, Mac and Me (1988) stands as a monument to the perils of corporate filmmaking. Bankrolled by McDonald’s, the film cynically attempted to capitalize on both the cultural love for E.T. and the fast-food chain’s dominance in marketing to children. The result was not only an unintentional comedy of errors but also a cautionary tale about prioritizing brand synergy over genuine storytelling.

However, Hollywood’s short memory—and its obsession with repurposing intellectual property—suggests that history is destined to repeat itself. The looming specter of Happy Meal Toys: The Movie feels inevitable. With McDonald’s long-standing relationships with a seemingly infinite array of intellectual properties, it’s only a matter of time before executives attempt to cobble together a cinematic universe out of forgotten Happy Meal toys. While the concept might initially seem ripe for nostalgic exploration, it would ultimately prove to be another Mac and Me: a hollow, feature-length commercial masquerading as entertainment.

Sunday, May 10, 2026

The Fly II (1989): When the Buzz Fades.

The Fly II is what happens when a sequel inherits a masterpiece, rifles through its pockets, finds a few brilliant ideas, a gallon of slime, and a corporate logo, then sprints off into the night hoping nobody notices Dad was smarter. It is not a disaster. In some ways, that would be easier. A complete train wreck can at least be enjoyed as a flaming object in motion. The Fly II is trickier than that. It is a good-looking, occasionally nasty, intermittently inspired sequel to one of the greatest body-horror films ever made, and that means every time it does something right, you immediately notice the larger thing it cannot do. It can gross you out. It can amuse you. It can even, now and then, stumble into something genuinely sad. What it cannot do is crawl out from under Cronenberg’s original, which hangs over this movie like a giant dead insect pinned in a museum case.

Friday, March 13, 2026

Jason Takes Manhattan: An Ambitious Misstep in the Friday the 13th Saga

Released in 1989, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan marked a significant departure from the familiar environs of Camp Crystal Lake. Directed by Rob Hedden, this eighth installment in the long-running slasher franchise attempted to reinvigorate the series by placing its iconic antagonist, Jason Voorhees, in the bustling urban landscape of New York City. The film’s premise—promising an adrenaline-charged collision between rural horror and metropolitan chaos—remains an intriguing concept. However, despite the potential for fresh narrative and stylistic opportunities, the end result stands as a polarizing entry that reveals both the creative constraints of franchise filmmaking and the evolving expectations of late-1980s horror audiences.

Monday, March 9, 2026

Brain Candy: Still Entertaining you, "Chemically."

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy is a jagged, prophetic disaster that arrived thirty years too early to be understood as the horror-documentary it actually is. In 1996, it was marketed as a wacky Canadian sketch movie, but beneath the wigs and the surrealist musical numbers lies a viciously accurate autopsy of the American pharmaceutical machine. The plot follows Dr. Chris Cooper, a scientist who accidentally invents Gleemonex, a pill that locks users into their happiest memory to cure depression.

Friday, March 6, 2026

Basket Case 2: Hey! This Isn't A Sandwich!

Let us immediately establish the cinematic coordinates of this completely unhinged artifact. In 1982, writer-director Frank Henenlotter unleashed Basket Case, a grimy, 16mm masterpiece of urban decay about a deeply traumatized young man, Duane, carrying his telepathic, homicidal, surgically severed mutant twin brother, Belial, in a wicker basket to exact revenge on the doctors who separated them. It was a flawless exercise in Times Square grindhouse cinema.