Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Random Thoughts: Friday The 13th Part VIII

Jason is depicted as a corpse raised from the dead (same as JASON LIVES and NEW BLOOD) but not as a monster with extraordinary power like in NEW BLOOD or JASON LIVES but as a walking corpse risen from the depth of the water. Now this film occurs a year AFTER the events of NEW BLOOD, so you would think that the investigation from that film ACTUALLY happened so there would be an investigation, the camp would have been closed down, etc. HOW THE HELL DOES TWO KIDS GET A HOUSEBOAT OUT THERE! You'd think that maybe the camp would be closed down and all entrances to the camp would be closed up but no. these two kids manage to get a house boat out onto that lake.

Your'e Sh*ttin' Me! You Haven't Seen That?!: Night Of The Creeps

Almost thirty years later, 1986's "Night of the Creeps" is a horror science fiction film that is nowhere near being a masterpiece, but is still one of the best horror romps I've ever seen from the decade. Director Fred Dekker treated fans to a double dose of horror entertainment, offering "Monster Squad" and then "Night of the Creeps." While both films aren't universally renowned like "Bride of Frankenstein," they are classics in their own right.

Your'e Sh*ttin' Me! You Haven't Seen That?!: Return of the Living Dead

I already know that this flick is awesome so I don’t have to worry about it. What I forgot was just how awesome it was though! Really, there are only two good series of zombie flicks and that’s Romero’s of the Dead series and this one.

Friday Flashback: Friday the 13th VII

Often thought of as “Jason vs. Carrie”, this hidden gem of the Friday series is often overlooked… and that really grinds my gears.

One of the most hated of the F13 series is, of course, my favorite. I can't explain definitively WHY it’s my favorite, maybe I just enjoy certain aspects in the film that aren't found (and never were again) in any of the other sequels. Maybe I enjoy the whole “telekinetic angle” that actually gave Jason a formidable foe. Maybe as an adolescent I found the rich, snobby and pretentious blonde incredibly hot (ok, that’s not a maybe. It’s definite. 80’s hot! Fuck yeah!).

Your'e Sh*ttin' Me! You Haven't Seen That?!: Friday The 13 Part IV

Were you disappointed by the fifth installment in the Friday the 13th series? Were you pissed off that it was, with the exception of a few well-staged scenes, amateurishly directed from a mediocre script? Did you want to punch yourself in the dick when the end revealed that the killer was not Mr. Voorhees, but some random paramedic out for revenge? Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating the extent of the fifth films failures (I know, I know… it wasn't THAT bad BUT I’m an F13 fan), but it did leave a lot to be desired. So naturally, writer/director Tom McLaughlin introduces us to the new, improved and truly unstoppable Zombie Jason with a well-needed tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Friday Flashback: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Not only is this a terrific entry into the “Nightmare” series but it’s one of the few films I hold very near to my heart. The year was 1991, I was just a young lad of nine years old but I already had year’s worth of horror films under my belt (Thanks Grandma! Love you!) and the ability to reference them at any given time. What can I say? I was an unusual kid. While most were interested in playing sports and frolicking outside, I was interested in how the hell “Brundle-Fly” (“The Fly” 1986) looked so realistic on screen and how a doll was able to walk around with no wires (“Child’s Play” 1988). By 1991 I’d seen all the great horror icons of MY generation (I eventually developed a deeper catalog of horror icons from ALL generations) either theatrically, on VHS or cable. 

Giving Thanks: Let Us Thank The Comedy God’s For The SNL Movies That Never Happened.

Name your favorite SNL produced movie. No, Blues Brother’s doesn’t count. Wayne’s World, right? What do youmean that’s the only one you can remember?! Well, there are the timelessclassics like… Umm… ahh… Did I mention Wayne’s World already?

First, let me get me get you up to speed… There have been 11 SNLproduced films based on one-note characters and while some have been moresuccessful than others- they ALL pretty much sucked. Except for Wayne’s World. Wayne’s World hasaged remarkably well.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

This Week's Hot Ticket: Diora Baird!

Dreams do come true. Sometimes they even come to fruition in a pair of big, voluptuous, generously proportioned and milky pale dreams. This week’s Hot Ticket is none other than the little known up-and-comer Diora Baird. I first spotted Ms. Baird’s talents (read: breasts) in the under-appreciated sequel to a remake of a reboot “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)” (Whew!). The film itself was, essentially, an exact carbon copy of the film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)” released three years prior but taking place four years before the original events.